Turquoise crystal clear water you could see all the way to the bottom, knee high waves wrapping gently around an offshore island, turtles popping up to say hello, frigate birds diving in and out, a possible shark sighting, margaritas in a thermos, potato chips and my two boys…that’s how I spent my 2nd Mother’s Day and I must say it was a vast improvement over last years celebration!

Not to dwell on the *ahem* disaster of a first Mother’s Day I had last year but the perfect day I was just showered with deserves a major shout out in comparison.

Palm trees.

Adventure.

Surfing babes.

Sandy smiles.

And a death hike with a sleeping babe strapped to my chest with a makeshift carrier.

These are a few of my favorite things!

This Moment- A Friday ritual. A single photo- no words- capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor, and remember. If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.

That title right there just makes me smile.

Margaritas and Moons…can life get much better than that?

Lime cupcakes, a Mexican food fiesta, a bit of last minute costuming, a birthday and graduation celebration and one fantastic “super” moon say it can.

To really seal the deal we ended up scoring a FREE babysitter while we paddled out for a late night full super moon surf. The moon really was pretty darn spectacular, lighting our way through unusually chilly water into a line up of fellow glowstick wearing surfers. It’s nights like this that you realize how connected and like minded surfers are; each one of us braving the ominous dark waters for a chance to surf under such a rare and beautiful phenomenon. The line up was packed, the waves were small, I was cold and it was fantastic. We returned to a sitter engulfed in her novel and a sleeping baby.

Photo: Eugene Tanner/AP (click on photo for original source)

Each time we visit the beach Harper reaches for a handful of cinnamon speckled sand. He watches with deep concentration and profound interest as his fist closes tightly and studies as the tiny grains slip through his fingers. He goes back for a second handful and this time it works it’s way to his mouth. It only takes a second before the gritty crunch has his tongue spitting it all back out, covering his lips and smearing a mixture of mud, coral and puka shell across his face. He is the eternal optimist, no matter how many times he repeats this process he always goes back for more.

If there is one thing I’m learning from my son over and over it is to never give up, to be an eternal optimist and to try try try again.   

For all we know somewhere in that handful of dirt, trash and marine debri there may be a hidden treasure, a left over fruit snack and Harper is out there to find it.

And so it with this approach to life that I sit in admiration watching Harper try try try again until he works his sippy cup into the little notch cut into his lunch tray, or the laborious task of pinning slippery chunks of papaya between the prongs of his fork, the way he twists and turns and bangs each puzzle piece until it finally sits rested in it’s appropriate place and how he politely and enthusiastically waves at each passerby learning the rules of social norms, smiling waiting for a friendly wave in return.

He lives life experimenting, adjusting, learning and trying again. He isn’t afraid to get dirty, to mess up, to be passed by or ignored. He isn’t afraid to fail or to let anyone down. He simply lives and his energy and curiosity about the world is contagious.

Everyday I am learning from him…to be a bit braver, to try a little harder, to laugh a lot more and to never ever give up.

This Moment- A Friday ritual. A single photo- no words- capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor, and remember. If you’re inspired to do the same, leave a link to your ‘moment’ in the comments for all to find and see.

I sit here in a rare moment of quiet, both boys are sleeping and I’m taking this evening of solitude to catch my breath and refuel. Naturally i’ve come to this space and tonight I have a full buffet of wonderfuls to re-tell.

After reading the Hippie Housewife’s post and taking to heart her message of seeking balance and reconnecting I embraced life today with a fresh perspective. I soaked in as much yumminess as I could. I looked at the world differently today, I challenged myself to pause and drink it all in. I looked at the world as I imagine a child does and man does the world deliver when you decide to pay attention!

Like on our walk this afternoon, Harper chowed down on his succulent pear like it was a gift straight out of the heavens. The sweet juices poured down his dimpled chin and his eyes closed in a moment of pure bliss. I couldn’t resist sitting there alongside him, watching for fish in the dirty Ala Wai canal. As soon as I sunk my teeth into my over ripe pear, my tongue dancing back and forth against the rough fruit, I was transported. We were no longer straining to see four eyes fish through thick, muddy and polluted water, we were some place magical. In that moment we were in our own world, a world that dripped with Comice pears, sunshine and my boys beloved gilled friends. Yes, it was that good.

I have a thing for tree silhouettes these days. I can’t pass a tree without stopping to admire how the sun dances upon the blossoms, setting them aglow against a bright blue sky. I stop and smell the plumerias, I smile and I tuck a fallen flower behind my ear.

This tree had a kite stuck in it and I wanted with all my might to climb up these perfect branches and reclaim this bright gem. What a perfect day for kite flying, light breezes, open fields and my buddy by my side.

Speaking of my buddy, his dreams came true today. Every time we go to the park he watches with intensity as the big kids run past. He reaches out for them, waves hello and does his best to imitate their play. Usually the big kids just keep on playing. Usually.

Today, they came back for him. Harper became their official mascot. He learned to play tag, hide and go seek, monkey in the middle, lava monster, dodge ball (I watched with hands over my eyes for most of this game), how to sit on the swing by himself and even a secret handshake. He was beaming and I watched as my toddler became one of the big kids…at least for the afternoon. He is sleeping soundly now and I imagine reliving all the fun he had on the playground today, one of the big kids, just another one of the boys.

And on the way home? We joined a row of strollers, dog walkers and joggers and watched as the birds of the neighborhood gathered for a sundown feast. My little man squealed with delight as birds dove in, out and all around us pecking at our feet begging for more crumbs. It was quite the show and we’ll be back armed with our own leftovers to share.

Oh yes, we’ll be back for tomorrow is another day. Another chance to get it right, to seal in the memories that do define us and our children’s childhood. I think it’s safe to say this day deserves that gold star.

I came across this great article today from the Hippie Housewife and as I read each line the words soaked into my soul and nestled right into the places of my heart that I needed it the most.

The truth is some days just aren’t “my day”. My patience is thin, my responses are short, the clock cannot move fast enough towards bedtime where I anxiously await closing the door behind me and saying goodnight to my never ending responsibility.

Days like this become more about me and how frustrated I am, how overwhelmed or tired I’m feeling and less and less about the gift that I am so lucky to spend my days with. After a long day the deep exhale of all that I did wrong ways heavily on my heart. I feel like a bad mom, like a bad person, like I’m failing at my job, disappointing everyone and fucking up at every which way.

Reading this article today made me realize even more that most everyone has these kinds of days, feels this mix of emotions of “mommy guilt” and that not everyday is going to be a gold star.

What’s important to remember is “that these days do not define us and they don’t define my children’s childhood, either”. After a deep exhale and on most occasions some tears of regret, what is really important is letting go and moving forward. As the Hippie Housewife says “yesterday’s failures do not define our lives unless we allow them to consume us. Instead, I choose grace, letting those days fall away like dead skin so that I can move forward with today, new and clean and lighter.”

Thank you to the Hippie Housewife for putting into words the struggle and guilt many of us mamas feel and for laying out some tips on how to get back on track.

Read the full article here.

Many of you have already seen this video if you’re a facebook follower. I thought I would share it on the blog and answer a few questions that I get on a pretty regular basis.

Most people want to know when we started exposing Harper to our love of the water and if you’ve been following along for a while you already know the answer!

We started Harper in the water the day he came home from the hospital!

Our introduction began with nightly swim baths with papa.

Next we graduated to a slow stand up paddle around Maunalua Bay when Harper was just a few weeks old. Papa paddled us while I carried Harper in our beloved Baby Nest. Then came the kayaking and to our delight our bundle of joy fit perfectly in the dry bin! We did a lot of water time like this in the early days and when he grew out of the dry bin I once again grabbed my Baby Nest and snuggled him close for a day out on the sea.

As soon as the little guys belly button fell off we started bringing him into the hot tub with us (we are able to control the temperature and kept it low so he didn’t over heat). These pictures are dated February 14th so he was exactly a month and 1 day old for his first dip.

At 3 months Harper would sit on the edge of the pool and jump to us. He also perfected the art of “dolphin dives” and scaring the beejeezus out of his mother.

Around 4 months I finally put on a brave face and we brought Harper along for a Friday night fireworks sail on our boat. I had probably the closest thing I’ve ever experienced to a panic attack as we pulled away from our dock but luckily the night was as uneventful as I could have ever hoped for.

This boy has pretty much lived in the water and it’s a joke among my “mainland” family that Harper visits the beach everyday…umm guilty.

Call us crazy but we graduated from Friday night sails to 10 days in the Caribbean pretty quickly and at 5 months old we not only survived 18 hours of flying, but a boat crash and some nasty weather. (ok, that makes the trip sound horrible but I promise it was amazeballs and you can read all about it in the archives).

When Harper started crawling our lazy beach days quickly turned into more a game of chase…me chasing after Harper who at the blink of an eye was headed into the water. Fearless is the way to describe his approach to the water, both a dream of mine and a nightmare thinking about his complete disregard for safety.

Once he started walking…oh man…if we are anywhere near a body of water you can bet he has one foot already in and the other close behind. His love of the water and his amazing vocabulary with sign language has proven to be a match made in heaven for us. Harper asks to surf, he tells us he wants “more” and the tells us when he has had enough. It’s a pretty amazing thing and without his ability to communicate I don’t think we would have been as likely to try so much with him.

The big question still remains though…when did Harper first start surfing? I would say somewhere close to his 1st birthday we started taking Harper out to the inside waves near our house (Baby Queens to be exact). Hubby would push Harper onto little rolling waves and I would stand on the inside ready to catch him. Most of the time there would be a whole crew of us in the water, (ready to catch if anything went wrong) enjoying the experience with him. One such afternoon we were lucky enough to bring the Go Pro camera along for the ride.

Check out how awesome this little guy is:

We’re at the point now where Harper has paddled out into the lineup with us and surfs with daddy. He absolutely loves being in the water with all of our friends and family and it’s almost always a huge party whenever we decide conditions are right for a family surf. I can’t tell you how crazy it is to me that we are already at this point, it was a dream of ours to have a baby that took to the water so naturally and has completely blown our minds how much he enjoys this special time.

I’m still working on getting together some recent photos of Harper surfing and will share with you soon. We spent a few days in Kauai celebrating hubby’s birthday and Harper surfed with us in Hanalei for nearly 2 hours! When our rental time was up he was so upset and kept signing for “more surf”!

With all the water time Harper has and all the opportunities he has around to dive right in (pools, ocean, canals, etc..) we’ve decided to start him in Infant Swimming Resource classes. Tomorrow is our first day and I”m a bag of nerves and excitement. The goal for the end of the class is to teach Harper how to fall in the pool safely, swim to the surface, float, go back to swimming and floating until he reaches safety. I’ll keep you posted on how everything goes!

“When you experience parenthood the whole world remakes itself before your eyes. Nature aligns itself. You understand your parents more and honor them more for the love they gave and the struggles they had. You see your own imperfections cast in high relief, because you know how much you want to do things right, and how hard it is to know what it is you should do. You feel the unity of generations cascading into generations from the beginning of time. You feel something in the world that is more important than yourself.”
- Simple Truths, Kent Nerburn

Amen. Over the past year, without even realizing it was happening, I have changed. I am no longer just a wife, or a surfer, a preschool teacher, a lover of chocolate and sunsets, dress up parties and friends…to my son I am all of these things and so much more. I am his whole world. Every tiny thing in his life is somehow a reflection of myself, a piece of me. On most days that giant mirror he holds up is something I look at with pride, a sense of peace and over riding happiness.

Some days however…well those are the days we realize how truly blessed we are to have friends and family to rely on. The days where we realize that without our “net” we would surely fall flat on our faces. We all have those days whether we have kids or not, the difference is when you do have kids your fall tends to leave a much bigger bruise.

With parenthood comes pressure. Am I doing this right? Is my child becoming the person I want them to be? Is my son like me? Is that a good thing or a bad thing? Is he seeing, learning, appreciating the best of me and the world? Will he remember the time I let him fall off the bed? Howhe ate cheese quesadilla three nights in a row because I was too lazy to go to the store? That I held him in my arms all night long when he was sick? Does he know I love him? But really does he know? Does he understand that even mommies make mistakes?

The pressure of parenthood, the never ending questions and self doubt can at times become overwhelming. In this past year I think I’ve asked more questions of myself than I have in my entire pre-mama existence. What I’ve also realized is that although I certainly have my short comings, I also have the ability to transform into a super hero in two seconds flat. Juggling house work, work work, babies, friendships, not to mention a marriage and extremely hard working many times over working husband can get a bit dicey. Add to that almost 15 months straight of sleepless nights and it’s absolutely incredible to me that we have somehow all survived and for the most part with smiles on our faces.

Parenthood is challenging. It’s rewarding but it’s also challenging. It is so challenging and rewarding that it is life changing and over the past few days I’ve been giving this topic a lot of thought.

I’ve compiled a little list of the things that have changed and the things that I realized over the past year and thought it would be fun to share with you all. Whether you have kids or not is there something you’ve learned over the past year that you can share? Something on this list you agree with or have found to be true? I want to hear!

1) You think you know yourself until you have a baby and the second your tiny bundle is placed in your arms you realize how naiv e your definition of “self” has been! I’ve learned more about myself (the good, the bad and the really bad) then I have in all past experiences.

2) I’ve learned that I need people. I need to feel connected to someone outside of myself and outside of my baby. I need my husband, my family, my friends.

3) I am so much stronger than I’ve ever given myself credit for. I’m stubborn and I don’t give up….even when I probably should.

4) Ideals are great to have but sometimes reality is more important.

5) Sleep is key. Pulling an all-nighter before finals in college, or staying up late partying in Mexico is a whole lot different than 15 months of sleepless nights combined with breastfeeding, managing a house hold and trying to function on any basic level.

6) Friendships are going to change. Wow, I expected things to be different with my friends but never this different. It’s hard to put into words but there is just something (um perhaps my child) that is just painstakingly different in the relationships and interactions I have with pre-baby friends. Of course I still love my friends, need them and want them around but things are just straight up different…sometimes weird different and sometimes different in the exact way that I need in order to save my sanity.

7) Holy heck do I have a whole new respect, admiration and love for my parents. How in the world did they do it?! (Hi mom and dad, I love you!)

New perspective and appreciation for the simple things in life. Small things become sublime pleasures, a sigh, a sleepy smile that one last gaze your baby fights for before falling off to sleep… By the same token, the big things are magically less and less important. Nothing brings your awareness to the present than a baby and all the other stuff in the world becomes secondary.

9) As much as we like to think material things don’t bring us happiness I’ve learned that sometimes they do. We just bought a mini-van and it has been life altering! haha Never underestimate the pure joy one can get from a 4 door car with automatic open/close features. Baby, surf board, stroller and room for friends? Life changing.

10) Just when you think you’ve got a handle on things, you’ve found yourself once again and you’re in a good rhythm…everything will change. Change is inevitable. Change is good and change is never ever going to stop…especially now that you have kids!

*And one the biggest things I’ve realized this past year is that surfing to me is not just some recreational sport I do on occasion. Surfing is a part of me and I need it to feel whole. Whether I’m able to sneak in two waves, a half hour or that rare afternoon when daddy is done working and nudges me to paddle out, regardless of the conditions, the number of waves or the time spent in the water I always emerge a better version of myself.