On this exact day one year ago I got a phone call from my doctor. I expected her to reassure me that the tests we had done the previous day showed everything was free and clear, no need to worry just sit tight and wait for baby to make his move.
Unfortunately the call went completely the opposite direction. Low fluids. High blood pressure. Low platelet count. High liver enzymes. Emergency induction. Come NOW!
Being the over planner that I am there was no need to scramble and pack our bags, that had been done WEEKS ago and was already in the car. Instead hubby and I made a few phone calls to reassure us we were doing the right thing, took a nice long shower, some final belly pics and headed out.
Hawaii was anything but sunny and gorgeous this day. We battled high winds as we wound ourselves up the Pali Hwy, dodging fallen tree branches and turning the wipers on full blast. I listened to my ipod, a mix of Kalai (hawaiian acoustic that you must check out) and some instrumental that I’ve loved and always relied on to keep me calm.
Driving to the hospital, knowing that we would soon meet our baby was a surreal feeling. This drive was completely different from how I imagined it, no gripping the arm rests during contractions, no deep breathing or worries of “will we make it”. Instead there was a mix bag of anticipation, excitement, worry and even a little doubt…am I doing the right thing?
In my mind an induction was a straight ticket to epidural. I was determined to keep this pregnancy and delivery as natural as possible and starting things off with an IV hook up was not what I had in mind. What I didn’t realize then was that this was just the start of my parenting journey and things not going as I had expected.
What I learned then and have continued to learn over the past year is that although things might not go as I had planned, if open to it, there is the chance for things to be even better than what I may have expected. There is a kind of freedom in the unexpected and the opportunity to really see what we’re made of. When things dip into unchartered waters we are challenged to dig deep, muster up all that is within us and look to the love and support of those around us to help us the rest of the way.
January 12th, 2011 went down just like that.
What happened in that delivery room was pure magic. Never have I felt more connected, confident, proud, capable or full of love. I saw myself in an entirely new light, realized how perfectly matched and lucky hubby and I are, responding to one another (more like him responding to me) with such ease and intuition knowing exactly what I needed and how I needed it.
My thoughts were filled with imagery artists can only dream of creating. I saw the beauty of nature, the kind that makes you realize there is undoubtedly some kind of God out there, gifting us with sweet breathes of fresh air, the kind you get when standing on a mountain top overlooking a field of wildflowers after a light and refreshing rain. The good kind. The pure kind. That natural high on life kind of imagery that takes your breathe away and your mind to secret places full of wonder.
I birthed naturally in this peace for a timeless 15 hours…but whose counting? I experienced a kind of time warp and honestly couldn’t have told you if 5 minutes or 5 hours had passed. In the end a beautiful, healthy 7lb 11 ounce little boy was born and tomorrow he turns 1!!!!
